I'm a chronic blog abandoner, journal abondoner, and project-starter. These traits join forces to create the perfect storm of flakiness. A veritable dandruff tornado, if you will, and of course you will, because what choice have you got but to picture that? I baked some muffins today, and I think that was a good thing. I practiced my instruments today, and I'd have to say that was also a good thing. In a few minutes, I'm going to go shower, dress myself in the oppressively required uniform, and teach kids how to be interested in music.
I say that because really, none of these kids want to be professional musicians. Who would? Ok, besides me. Ok besides all of my friends who may read this who are. The tough thing in the last couple of weeks has been keeping them interested in music. Listening to only Taylor Swift as your only musical source is probably something to be addressed. Playing your instrument only in band is also something to be addressed. If that were me, I'd not really give a shit about what happens in my private lessons. Hell, I listen to more music (for better or for worse) than most of you (I assume...I don't know who you are. I think I'm addressing my mental list of Facebook friends or something), and I didn't give a shit what went on in most of my private lessons. What I'm coming to is the realization that it's too late for me to go back and make myself care. It's too late for me to go back and write with the aptitude that I do now (this doesn't count). I can't go around apologizing to all of my teachers for being a slacker and not respecting their time, though now much of what I was supposed to have learned I am now, and I'm benefiting from years of instruction being bottled up somewhere in the reptilian part of my brain.
The best thing for me is teaching. Teaching and learning are like...well I'm at a loss for a creative metaphor. I write essays, not fiction. What I do know is that one informs the other, and that's a pretty obvious statement that centuries of philosophy have already ironed out, as they have with most of the things that I am just beginning to learn in my life. Teaching, though, is its own way of learning. It forces me to confront the things that I have supposedly learn, find the parts of those things that work, the parts that don't work, and decide how to convey that information to my students. Also, I have found in recent years that my tendency is to be selfish and self-contained. Teaching treats this as well. So does reading books. So does genuinely trying to help people, whether it's with finding a book, opening a door, or pretending that you care about what they have to say (fake it 'til you make it).
Suggested diet: Teach somebody something, watch a documentary, and listen to this.
